HB16outof9

Sometime When the Days were Blended Together.

I really don't want to hear about you doing bad, I'll pull the pictures on your ass. That's all I have all I can grab, and most of them hide behind some form of glass. So I pull the pictures out and cycle through, one by one. I don't know if it helps; I can't feel, I'm numb. Had to run from the space I was using. You were my drug no use in abusing a situation now, that has me lost and clueless. I don't know what I'll do but I need some kind of movement. I love you, so can accept what I've done in all of this. The only reason I let you go without 1 kiss. I wish things could change. Will they? Will change. I'm chained back by a conscious refrain. I could be gone today, but you need it, and I need to accept that. Detach and work to get intact. If there's no contact and I shut it down early, be it accident or fate, just know I was hurting. Know I was here, wishing you were right here too. Know that I'm ashamed of all I've put you through. This is me loving you, I feel its best you know. I'm trying to learn to take my first steps like before. Please love me. Don't ever forget, we had tons of bad times and went through plenty shit. The love was real though, for me, at least. I know the same can be said for you, but you've said your peace. So this is two fingers and sign for something that feels so fucking wrong. I'm not at peace and there's no victory with you leaving me alone. I hate it. That's all I can think. I hate this everyday. I want to come home to you babe, I just left to find another way.